First, I want to acknowledge you for being here.
It takes courage to lean in
Being present to someone you love dying, or your own dying, can be uprooting and disorienting. You may not know what you need or what to ask. Fear not, I have walked this path hundreds of times.
Having my loving care and guidance to navigate one of the most intimidating, isolating and troubling times of your life is deeply valuable and I’d go as far as saying necessary.
Our ritual-bereft culture is afraid of death and we often haven’t been taught or had the lived experience to be with it skillfully, meaningfully with the fullness of our presence that death demands of us.
This can leave you feeling in shock, consumed by dread and concern, merely surviving this transcendent experience, alone in the depths of the unknown while attempting to care for yourself and those around you.
Often overlooked and under addressed, when tended well this passage is actually filled with the once in a lifetime opportunity for healing, connection and profound spiritual realization.
The holistic support I offer is intuitive. End of life care is not a linear process therefore the model of care I encourage is ongoing, as-needed support, so that you are guided through the unexpected moments that will arise throughout your process.
Both palliative clients and caregivers need support.
I know the path that lays ahead of you.
I am an experienced guide, here to help you traverse these unfamiliar waters with grace and compassion while giving you the practical skills you need.
You are investing in comprehensive empathic support that will change your life forever. I am meticulous in my guidance, attuning to the unspoken nuances in your field of energy. I address the micro and macro details leaving you empowered, clear and stronger to face your future.
I understand. As a supporter, not only are you faced with the pain of grief and array of emotions, all of a sudden you’re expected to know how to caregive, navigate the complexities of the healthcare system, juggle your responsibilities and make the most of final days. It’s overwhelming.
If you are in your dying time, you are suddenly expected to make life altering decisions swiftly with clarity, you are managing your emotions while concerned about those affected by your health changes and increasing dependence compounds the intensity amidst adjusting to your earth walk coming to an end.
Let me assure you, you have everything within you to do this. I’m here to empower and guide you through this sacred rite of passage with an intention to keep you grounded, have the difficult emotional conversations with compassion, help you traverse the end-of-life, and know what to do and how to stay calm when things don’t go as planned.
In Your Dying Time:
- You are calm and grounded as you make decisions and receive test results
- You have a sense of resolve as you bravely navigate this sacred rite of passage
- You have a supportive doula asking the right questions at the right time, preparing you to cross the threshold into the spirit realm
- You are present to your physical, emotional and mental experience with curiosity alleviating distressing thoughts, feelings and sensations
- Your doula facilitates crucial end of life conversations so you feel relieved knowing your wishes and concerns are being addressed
- Your spiritual care needs and desires have been identified and documented so that we honour you as an individual even when you become un able to communicate
- You are able to bring yourself to the present moment when you notice you are focusing on the past or future which reduces mental anguish and a feeling that things should be other than they are
- You have the micro details addressed so that you can rest knowing the people (and pets) you care about will be taken care of after your death
- You feel you can be vulnerable with your doula, let the tears come and say everything on your heart and mind without feeling you are burdening your family
- Your doula is guiding you through how to untether your soul from your body and ease your spirit’s transition
- You feel complete, in acceptance of death with a peace like you’ve never known before
- You know with confidence that you doing something meaningful with the time you have left leaving you feeling complete
- You know how to navigate your inner terrain and how to aide your soul in untethering from your physical form
- Your legacy is recorded in a structure way so that you are remembered the way you desire for generations to come
- Your doula has helped you curate a meaningful ritual at the bedside after you die that supports your soul’s ease in exiting your bodily vessel
- You receive templates for empowering communication so you don’t spend precious energy ruminating on how to respond
- Your doula guides you to draw on your authentic knowing from your highest, soul-self - a remembering of who you deeply are
Hi, I’m Karry Sawatsky,
founder of Modern Deathcare and The Life and Death Academy’s Death Doula Training.
As a death doula, death educator and author, I have supported hundreds of clients internationally and again and again I see when they receive the right support,
dying, death and bereavement can be deeply transformative.
I was initiated into deathcare 17 years ago when my friend’s mother died. I quickly stepped in to support him, amazed at my love and skill for being an intuitive, compassionate caregiver. But I was shocked by the absence of guidance they received from professionals. I saw first-hand how ill equipped our culture is for navigating this momentous rite of passage.
This early experience with death changed me to my core. I knew there was a better way to experience dying and death and I was on a quest to create it.
I am passionate about completely revolutionizing deathcare. With a deep love for community, spirituality and nature, I am a leader pioneering a holistic, empowered, and compassionate approach to deathcare.
I built a one of a kind, 4 month foundational intensive Death Doula Training where I coach dedicated students - both aspiring and seasoned - in my unique philosophy and methodology.
I’m committed to helping you transform the end of life experience from one of passivity, fear and anguish into a connection-filled, meaningful rite of passage.
I’m here to coach you through consciously facing this profound time. As your death doula I meticulously support you in...
- Preparing for the inward journey
- Calming and grounding techniques so you require fewer external crutches to regulate your nervous system
- Empowering you to advocate for your wishes
- Teaching you tools and giving you templates for empowering communication with family, friends and healthcare so you skillfully articulate your needs
- Boundary setting to build trust, safety, and respect in your relationships
- Transforming the end of life from a traumatic event into a connection-filled, meaningful rite of passage
- Continuing bonds after death
- Providing holistic, non-medical symptom management
- Discovery a sense of calm, ease and comfort from within
- Understanding your grief and how to care for yourself
- Experiencing a holistic, compassionate approach to deathcare so that you have sustained and balanced emotions and reduced stress, depression and anxiety.
- Understanding how to navigate the healthcare system to receive the most progressive care
- Preparing children for death so that they make sense of what is unfolding around them and equipping them with the emotional tools they need to withstand life's inevitable windstorms
- Creating beautiful memories that last a lifetime that strengthen your sense of identity, purpose and bond your relationships
- Guiding conversations to address and release fears, concerns, wishes, and create a plan
- Creating a meaningful rite of passage that honours this sacred time
- Planning a home funeral so you take the time you need in a familiar environment to absorb the loss
- Learning how to enact family led deathcare to maintain your sense of agency
- Personalizing spiritual care that reflect your values and beliefs
- Creating an end of life plan
- Recording legacy wishes to passed on to generations
- Providing alternative end-of-life options, resources and planning not widely known
Testimonials
“It was invaluable to have Karry I could talk to who is very knowledgeable and has a lot of experience. I felt supported specifically around living and dying and dealing with illness and planning. I felt less burdened and confused. I always felt better and less overwhelmed and inspired even at the end of a session. She gave me more peace with coming to terms with my own mortality and clarity but still also gave a focus on living."
-PALLIATIVE CLIENT
“Thank you for coaching me to support my friend through her MAiD process and answer my questions and concerns. [My friend] was so peaceful and full of grace right to the end. None of my fears came true and I gave myself permission throughout the day to be kind and careful with my own energy and mindfulness as you suggested. Thank you for that. And what meaningful work you do!”
-CAREGIVER
“You helped me recognize the need for a spiritual/ritual component to [the unexpected death of my father-in-law] and to the funeral. You helped me gather my thoughts, you listened and gave me a space to process what was going on without further burdening those who were also experiencing the loss.”
-CAREGIVER
“It's like you were a tour-guide. It's like I was lost in a new city and in a bit of a panic to find my way and would have missed so many things had you not stopped me and pointed things out while you were helping me find my way…”
-CAREGIVER
“...I'm thinking of your suggestion of ways to be with [my mum’s] body after she passed, questions you suggested I ask the palliative care doctor, having something meaningful that I could hold and then leave with her each time I left the hospice. You helped me stay in the present, pause, take it in, really be with her while also preparing for the next steps, being cognisant of what was to come.”
-CAREGIVER
“I can be completely myself with you, as we have no prior history - this space gives me freedom to explore whatever is showing up without worrying about you, your reaction to news, etc. Every other relationship, at this time, is reciprocal - in the sense that friends and family are grieving on their own and when we are together - this is beautiful, but also draining and exhausting at times. I don’t feel any need to ‘take care of’/protect you in any way!
-PALLIATIVE CLIENT
“Karry has been an integral guide for helping me to navigate the challenges of my father's changing health. There were so many decisions my mom and I needed to make to ensure my father's safety and new rhythm at home. I didn't know where to start and because I'm an only child and live abroad, I was worried about all the pressure this was putting on my mother. I felt like I couldn't be there for them and the situation was out of my control. Karry helped me put together a clear plan with practical and implementable steps that transformed my fears and worries into empowered loving action. She offered questions to ask, things to look for, and additional support considerations specific to living abroad. Now, thanks to Karry's wise words and unwavering heart-centred guidance, I don't feel helpless and lost anymore and I'm equipped with the right tools to care for my aging parents no matter how high the waves that come our way. Thank you Karry, for everything! I am so grateful!!!”
-Aisha Rose Melodie Hassan
You want to work with me if you:
- Feel like you are waiting and it feels excruciating
- Intuitively know there is more you can do to make the most of this time but you aren’t sure how
- Learned your loved one has a life limiting diagnosis and you are flooded with concerns about the future
- Want the confidence to keep showing up even when you’re afraid and emotional
- Feel scared now that your dear one’s health has quickly changed
- Are wondering what to do now that someone dear to you has just died
- Want alternatives to mainstream healthcare and the traditional funeral model
- Heard about home funerals or family led deathcare and want to honour your person by having more involvement than the status quo
- Don’t know what you need to know or plan but you know it’s urgent now
- Feel alone and want to talk about what’s happening but you don’t want to ‘burden’ your family also going through their own process
- Are afraid to have the tough conversations before it’s too late, but frankly aren’t sure what you need to be asking
- Feel overwhelmed and guilty about not responding to messages from people that care about you
- Feel like you have to hold it together for everyone
- Have a different perspective than your family and aren’t on the same page
- Want to know how to talk to your child about death and don’t want to harm them
- Don’t want to say the wrong thing and make the situation worse
- Are worried about the quality of care, or lack of care, being received
When should we start working together?
The most comprehensive guidance is experienced when I support you over many sessions vs one or two.
Establishing our relationship early on before your needs are at their peak builds a strong foundation for support providing ease and peace of mind. I prioritize getting to know you, your values and your unique circumstance while creating a plan, building trust, and readying you for the profound journey ahead.
This way, when your need for my leadership increases, you are organized, supports are in place and the vision we established for an intentional end of life experience is well underway.
As the transition into the afterlife begins, you, the caregiver, know what to do to bring comfort and how to be an active participant in your dear one’s threshold crossing.
As the dying person, you will know how to navigate your inner terrain, feel peace and acceptance and know how to aid your soul in untethering from your physical form.
That being said, if you require urgent support and we haven’t developed a prior relationship, I will support and equip you to rise to the occasion swiftly to honour this significant threshold.
Here’s the truth.
You can’t get this precious, fleeting time back.
You need to know what to expect and how to prepare.
You need in-the-moment guidance so you embody reverence for this rite of passage while you navigate uncharted waters in a meaningful way.
Investing in working with Karry has a HUGE return on your investment that you will benefit from for the rest of your life.
“Your way of being inspires me to be calm and centered, as you are. At times, when I feel overwhelmed, I think of you and step into a place of tranquility. I imagine that will only intensify as [you continue to support me].”
-PALLIATIVE CLIENT
“I’m a semi-retired family physician providing help with end of life issues. Karry is an excellent resource for many of the practical, non-medical aspects. She was very helpful in providing information about how a family can transport a loved one after death and alternatives to formal funeral parlours. The family and I were very grateful for her knowledge and availability.”
-PRACTITIONER
“I wanted a sense of competence, actionable things I could do in the precious moments I had remaining. I wanted the ability to be with the magnitude of what was happening. [I had] fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, fear of being unable to stay grounded and supportive to others through my own grief.”
-CAREGIVER
“I know that [my family] - and whoever else will be present at the home funeral and afterwards - will be supported by you in a lovely and gentle way. This eases my heart. One of my great griefs is that I will not be here when their grief is new - knowing you will be comforts me.”
-PALLIATIVE CLIENT
“Karry said, these are the realest of times, and acknowledging that made it possible for me to be front and centre with the depth of them.”
-CAREGIVER
“Everyone told me to take care of myself, but I really didn’t know what that meant. Karry coached me through what it means to take care of myself.”
-CAREGIVER
I guide you in transforming what is often an overwhelming end-of-life experience into a slowed down, meaningful goodbye.
Benefits of Doula Support
- Removing overwhelm so that you can be present to this profound time
- Empowering you with tools to create an end-of-life plan to give you peace of mind
- Sharing innumerable ways to reduce pain through non-medical symptom management techniques
- Addressing fear, anxiety and concerns so that you have the skills to quell heightened emotions and regulate your nervous system
- Coaching you through anticipatory grief, preparing you to continue your bond after death
- Empowering you with what to expect so there aren’t emotionally painful surprises
- Supporting you as a caregiver through your unique grief process so you can keep living through loss
- Caring expertise to ensure the passage attended to with detail, community, ceremony and beauty
FAQ
What if not everyone in my family is on board to work with a doula?
I don’t have a plan and don’t know exactly what I need. Can you help me?
How does a death doula differ from a nurse?
As a caregiver, what if my dear one dies before our services are complete?As someone in my dying time, what if I die before our services are complete?
I infuse life in all that I give my attention and care to.
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